Saturday, June 04, 2005
Doing things Differently
Well first off to start this Blog I need to say something to a very Special little man in my life.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONAH
So over the past few days or maybe even year I sometimes have moments where I wish I could do things differently. Do you ever have those days? Well the thing most I wish I could do differently is that I had been serious in finding the right person for me, getting married and having a family.
I have watched my brothers and sisters all have children, I am now watching some of my friend’s children becoming parents themselves and thus my friends becoming grandparents and I feel like there is something missing in my life.
If I had done what was the norm I would have been married, had children and now be enjoying grandchildren.
I am now at the age where if this is going to happen, the only way for it to happen is for me to marry a man with children or to adopt. Well lots of single people have been known to adopt but I am not in the financial position to be able to adopt. Because of medical problems even if I decided I wanted to attempt to be a parent it would never work because I just do not have the parts.
So how can I fill that missing part in my heart? Well I surround myself with my niece & nephews, with my friend’s children & grandchildren. I share in their lives and enjoy the pleasure I can from them. My nick name from my niece and nephews for almost 20 yrs this August has been Ant Lex. So now to all those who choose to call me that I allow them to.
I guest there is one advantage to not being a parent and that is pretty well from the time they are conceived until they grow up and move out of the house you have a full time job and commitment to them. If you are not a parent you can enjoy them for the time you are with them and at the end of the day or when you have had enough you can go home or send them home. Who am I trying to kid, I miss all the craziness and activity around my house and sometimes finding myself dreaming about what it would have been like if I had done things differently.
I guess I could get real stuck here if I wanted to but instead I have learned to embrace the time I do get to spend with the special and so treasured children in my life. I really am Blessed by the children I have in my life and am grateful that they love me unconditionally. That they know me for who I am today. So technically I may never be a real mom but I have 8 nieces and nephews, whom I love and adore and they love me right back. I also have 2 adopted pals at the church who are very special boys to me, and right now I have many friends with grandchildren that I adore. I get to spend time with 2 of those grandchildren most Sunday's and I love the special times I spend there playing with them, holding them, sharing with their laughter and silliness.
So am I deprived of motherhood--yes, but the good Lord does provide what he knows we need and he has surrounded me with children.
Would I really do things differently, maybe but in this situation I have come to accept it and enjoy what I do have.
To all the parents who allow me to share in their children’s lives, Thank you. To all the children whom allow me to be in their live I am so grateful and Blessed, Thank you. To all the grandparents who allow me to share in their pleasures of being a grandparent, Thank you.
Finally to God who knows what is best for me and what I can handle Thank you for Blessing me with the children in my lives.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONAH
So over the past few days or maybe even year I sometimes have moments where I wish I could do things differently. Do you ever have those days? Well the thing most I wish I could do differently is that I had been serious in finding the right person for me, getting married and having a family.
I have watched my brothers and sisters all have children, I am now watching some of my friend’s children becoming parents themselves and thus my friends becoming grandparents and I feel like there is something missing in my life.
If I had done what was the norm I would have been married, had children and now be enjoying grandchildren.
I am now at the age where if this is going to happen, the only way for it to happen is for me to marry a man with children or to adopt. Well lots of single people have been known to adopt but I am not in the financial position to be able to adopt. Because of medical problems even if I decided I wanted to attempt to be a parent it would never work because I just do not have the parts.
So how can I fill that missing part in my heart? Well I surround myself with my niece & nephews, with my friend’s children & grandchildren. I share in their lives and enjoy the pleasure I can from them. My nick name from my niece and nephews for almost 20 yrs this August has been Ant Lex. So now to all those who choose to call me that I allow them to.
I guest there is one advantage to not being a parent and that is pretty well from the time they are conceived until they grow up and move out of the house you have a full time job and commitment to them. If you are not a parent you can enjoy them for the time you are with them and at the end of the day or when you have had enough you can go home or send them home. Who am I trying to kid, I miss all the craziness and activity around my house and sometimes finding myself dreaming about what it would have been like if I had done things differently.
I guess I could get real stuck here if I wanted to but instead I have learned to embrace the time I do get to spend with the special and so treasured children in my life. I really am Blessed by the children I have in my life and am grateful that they love me unconditionally. That they know me for who I am today. So technically I may never be a real mom but I have 8 nieces and nephews, whom I love and adore and they love me right back. I also have 2 adopted pals at the church who are very special boys to me, and right now I have many friends with grandchildren that I adore. I get to spend time with 2 of those grandchildren most Sunday's and I love the special times I spend there playing with them, holding them, sharing with their laughter and silliness.
So am I deprived of motherhood--yes, but the good Lord does provide what he knows we need and he has surrounded me with children.
Would I really do things differently, maybe but in this situation I have come to accept it and enjoy what I do have.
To all the parents who allow me to share in their children’s lives, Thank you. To all the children whom allow me to be in their live I am so grateful and Blessed, Thank you. To all the grandparents who allow me to share in their pleasures of being a grandparent, Thank you.
Finally to God who knows what is best for me and what I can handle Thank you for Blessing me with the children in my lives.
# posted by Alexis @ 7:28 a.m. 
